Can You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You?

Is it possible to truly love someone who doesn’t love you?

And if so, what is that love… is it infatuation? Can it be described as love, if it isn’t reciprocated? I mean, to truly love someone, don’t we have to know them first?

If we were to recognise that our love isn’t reciprocated, is it wrong to continue to love that person? These and other questions like them keep me awake at night. I don’t know about you.

There remain such blurred lines between what is love, what is infatuation, our own understanding of what love is through the lens of our own psyche and the experiences and building blocks that got us to our present state. What one person regards as love, another might regard as abuse. True.

But then, if the person experiencing that relationship regards what they’re receiving as ‘love’ is it not love? Because love is such a personal thing. It’s easy to prescribe a list of ideals when describing what love should be, but how many of us are in a relationship that someone else looking in, would also regard as love?

Just sayin.

It seems all of us have a slightly different definition of what that thing is, in the same way that what we take as ‘attractive’ in someone else, differs wildly between two people. It’s impossible to say, within any given childhood, what might become the all-important experience, colouring all that then transpires, moving into adulthood. Is it a single moment, a series of events or a long, situational set of circumstances?

Who can say?

And is it a positive thing, or a negative thing that creates the triggers we consider love to be? Perhaps it’s a negative experience that creates a positive, as the individual strives to do different from the thing they witnessed or felt. #Lazarus10. That’s all I’m saying.

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