How a reluctance to forgive and forget can play out over decades.
Surely one of life’s biggest lessons is the smallest and most overlooked of things: Letting go.
I find as I get older that learning to let go – of the past, of objects and, most of all, of people, is a lesson well learned. Holding on to these things can damage us, stop us in our tracks. And standing still is a form of death.
Refusing to release the past, to experiences, good or bad, can be a poor life choice. Forever reliving good things that happened, highlights, awards, moments where we excelled or were celebrated for something means we have stood still, we are no longer reinventing, creating, moving forward.
Dwelling on the negative things that happened to us will also only ever reduce us. Make us resort to poor decisions. Seek revenge, prevent us from seeking the positive, or seeing opportunities when they appear, because they inevitably do. It’s about seeing them and realising their potential, learning not to view them through the filter of bad past experiences.
And life is about choices; the choices we take. So sometimes things happen which negate our endeavour, but we cannot allow this to colour our attitude and pull us back from risking in the future, making a leap of faith (faith in ourselves). We can only grow by risking.
How many feuds, wars are down to altercations, differences, infractions lost in the mists of time? How willing are we to forgive? To move forward and at the same time, look to ourselves? It seems worse when all we do is inherit prejudices and grudges without questioning them – from our parents, our tribe, our peers.
But it is also the hardest thing to do this. To engage our own brain, form our own opinions. To reject the kneejerk reaction and look deeper to the ‘why’… the ‘why did I react like that?’ Am I really angry at them, or is it something else, some other motive?
Is my sense of injustice real, or is it baseless, perhaps simply pride?
#Lazarus10 is out very soon…