Parental Influence

Growing up can so often be about the journey around our parents. Some never do grow up and spend their lives either seeking approval or doing the opposite to spite their parents, sometimes long after they’ve passed on.

#Lazarus10 is partially concerned with growing up and realising you aren’t your parents, but not only that, you also weren’t perhaps as talented as them, as artistically bent. And that can lead to guilt, to feelings of inadequacy. But also, how would that make them feel as parents?

How many of us still have the voice of our parents or parent living in our heads long after we’ve flown the nest? How many choose careers or refuse paths open to us because of parental pressure, or even assumed disapproval?

Many of us will do things despite our parents. Date others we know are deeply unsuitable or even dangerous because we need to rub our parent’s nose in that negation, that rebellion. But how much harm is it doing us in the meantime? How much time wasted?

Some choose only to strike out, to spread their wings after their parents are no longer with them. This can be a long wait and a painful one. But all of us have to find our own way to deal with this, unless our parents are supportive unquestioning and very well rounded individuals themselves.

I think many of us maintain conversations with our parents possibly every day, whether they be alive or dead. Hopefully, this is a source of happy and healthy dialogue. But it’s easy to see how it can also be the opposite.

In the case of Tony, his parents were naturally gifted, artistically and with craft skills. He knows this but also knows he isn’t. And that has to take it’s toll, however careful and loving his parents might be in his upbringing. It’s definitely a spur which makes him take decisions someone else might decide are the wrong ones.

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